anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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