do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
