his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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