Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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