Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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