my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
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False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
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I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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