There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Terrible idea I love it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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