Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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