too bad you live with your parents still
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
