no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
how drunk are you?
Several
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
