dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
