6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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