ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The air was thick with penises
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
