If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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