he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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