i need an iv and a liver transplant
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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