I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
