so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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