Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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