ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
