Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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