this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
