You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
