I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
