But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
