I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
