$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
