Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
