i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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