Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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