I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize