she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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