ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
