Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
