he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
