Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
why didn't you poke me back
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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