This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
