She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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