Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
