she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
