Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
