Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
