You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
