when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We smell like vodka and hangover
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