There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
this just has baby written all over it
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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