The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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