he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
