why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
