If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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