Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
