can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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