apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
