So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
