possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
