Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
