Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
