I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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