did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
how does that bad decision feel?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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