I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
