Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
